Perspectives on Social Interaction, Community, and Friendships

Scientific research has concluded that ongoing, close relationships are cognitively and emotionally critical, especially as we age. Beyond science, Christian theologians, pastors, and authors have recognized the requirement of relationships for centuries.

I have sought helpful perspectives from various sources to highlight the vital nature of relationships and community.

 Scientific Research:

·       Sanjay Gupta: Writes in “Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age,” “It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected.”

·       Robert Waldinger: In “The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness,” describes his research and says, “Loneliness is associated with being more sensitive to pain, suppression of the immune system, diminished brain function, and less effective sleep, making an already lonely person even more tired and irritable. Recent research has shown that for older people loneliness is twice as unhealthy as obesity, and chronic loneliness increases a person’s odds of death in any given year by 26 percent.” On the other hand, “the frequency and the quality of our contact with other people are two major predictors of happiness.”

Biblical Foundations:

·       Jesus Christ: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35, NIV).

·       The Early Church: "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ... All the believers were together and had everything in common" (Acts 2:42, 44, NIV).

Theological Reflections:

·       Augustine of Hippo: In "City of God," Augustine writes, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). This highlights the importance of mutual support within the community.

·       Thomas Aquinas: Aquinas, in "Summa Theologica," emphasizes that charity (caritas) is the highest form of love and that it binds people together in the community of the Church.

 Ethical Imperatives:

·       John Wesley: The founder of Methodism, John Wesley, strongly advocated for social holiness, saying, "The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion. No man ever went to heaven alone."

·       Dietrich Bonhoeffer: In "Life Together," Bonhoeffer writes, "The more we learn to allow others to share in our lives, the more genuine and deep our relationships become. Life in community is no less than a necessity for a believer."

Historical Witness:

·       John Winthrop: The Puritan leader John Winthrop, in his sermon "A Model of Christian Charity," emphasized the importance of community, stating, "We must be knit together in this work as one man. We must entertain each other in brotherly affection, we must be willing to abridge ourselves of our superfluities, for the supply of others' necessities."

·       Tertullian: Describing the early Christians' sense of community, Tertullian noted, "See how they love one another," highlighting the profound sense of fellowship that distinguished Christians from the surrounding society.

Literary and Philosophical Arguments:

·       C.S. Lewis: In "The Four Loves," Lewis explores different kinds of love, including friendship (philia), and highlights its importance, stating, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

·       Dietrich Bonhoeffer: In "Life Together," Bonhoeffer writes about the spiritual significance of Christian community, saying, "Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ. No Christian community is more or less than this."

Practical Application:

·       Henri Nouwen: Nouwen's writings often emphasize the necessity of community and mutual support, such as in "Life of the Beloved," where he writes, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."

·       Rick Warren: In "The Purpose Driven Life," Warren underscores the importance of belonging to a community of believers, stating, "We are created for community, fashioned for fellowship, and formed for a family, and none of us can fulfill God’s purposes by ourselves."

 A question for all of us is how to foster and maintain these relationships. Where have we found success, and what are the challenges?