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A Discussion of Grand Parenting


This discussion was based on the premise of the book Grand Parenting by Dr. Josh Mulvihill. The premise is provocative: what is the biblical role of grandparents? Here is a review of the book and CDs.

·        This is a complex topic; everyone’s situation is different - different relationships with our children and their spouses; some families are physically near, others separated by time zones; many complications; no one answer. But we need to be intentional and have a strategy.

·        We are in danger of defaulting to the worldly model of grandparenting: a playmate? A companion? A convenient daycare? I had my turn at parenting. Good Luck! Santa Claus? An inconvenience whose visits inconvenience the family?

·        New social contract - some of our children believe they deserve independence, don’t want enmeshment, and don’t want parents butting into their parenting with their religion.

·        What does the Bible say is our role as grandparents? Not a lot, BUT DT 4:9-10 and Ps 78:1-6 are significant.

o   Dt 4:9 - “…Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”

o   Ps 78:5-6 “He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children.”

o   Why? Ps 78:7 “so that they should set their hope in God [salvation] and not forget the works of God [sanctification]”

o   And so Ps 78:8 “They should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.”

·        What is our role as grandparents? We should be disciple-making grandparents. Why? Ps 78:7 - "so that they place their hope in God” [for salvation] and 78:7b, “they keep His commandments” [for sanctification]

·        In our lives, we have been eyewitnesses to God’s works through many trials and triumphs. We should get out of the stands and in the game. Be willing to shout our testimony of God's goodness to our children and their children. [as Joel said, his goal is that his children/grandchildren know that he is “preoccupied with Christ.”) (“Talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when your rise.” Dt 6:7)

·        Do you have a plan? A strategy? Intentionality. What do you think is God’s role for you in their life? What can you do today to move the ball forward? Get in the game.

·        If your relationship with your children supports, collaborate/strategize with your children on how best to make disciples of their children

·        Whitacre’s triangle is in play…activity—> relationship—> trust —> transparency —> faith for change; it’s a process that you can’t short circuit

·        Do you believe you matter? Don’t spend on yourself. Spend yourself. Tell the full gospel. Get in the game.

My concern - What is to be thought of me if I spend myself saving strangers and have made no effort to make disciples of my grandchildren?

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